Coming out as a Tarot card reader

Tarot card reading at my first market event

I have always felt in my heart that I am somewhat of a gypsy, but knowing this on the inside and showing my authentic self to the world are two different things. Coming out as a Tarot card reader opens me up to vulnerability and judgements, and is scary on certain levels. It is certainly different, like saying I have joined the circus. (There is certainly nothing wrong with joining the circus, it just sounds a little outlandish and there are not a lot of circuses around nowadays.) Choosing to be a Tarot card reader is not your average career choice and is a difficult career path to stumble upon or discover without some intervention from the Universe. Thankfully, there are many really nice open and accepting people who are intrigued and want to hear all about it.

Coming out as a Tarot card reader opens me up to vulnerability and judgements, and is scary on certain levels

Interestingly enough, you don’t just find your passion nicely boxed up for you at the job store. Becoming a Tarot card reader would never have been suggested by any high school guidance counsellor or career-path expert. This is something you discover, envision and create for yourself, drawing upon your intuition, genius and experiences.

Becoming an office assistant was more normal and less risky. I gravitated to this route because it was a safe and secure option for someone who was lost, didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up and had to move out of her parents’ home and start earning money aka “make a living.” Although, being an office assistant is not especially lucrative, it was a practical option for me, paying the bills and providing me with a certain amount of independence.

On the other hand, becoming a Tarot card reader is a return to a certain flair and energy I used to embody as a child, which mysteriously disappeared around grade 7 (probably due to puberty) and did not resurface until after I turned 35. My flair seems to go hand in hand with my self esteem and confidence, all of which abandoned me for a very long time; I have been making decisions over the years that are not in alignment with my true self because my true self was not accessible. In essence, the real me was hibernating (or was it hiding?)

Studying the Tarot, along with spiritual development, has allowed me to step into being me. I can be still as me. I show up as me, converse as me and leave as me. I used to define myself as a chameleon, proud of the fact that I would take on others’ characteristics and personalities to fit into any and every situation. This is no longer an attribute I cherish. My chameleon is a people-pleaser who wants to fit in and be liked by everyone. Not just by some people, but by everyone. Now I know this is caused in part by lacking a strong sense of personal identity, and a deep-seated desire to avoid conflict at all costs.

Unsplash photo by: https://unsplash.com/@viktorkern

Coincidentally, stepping into my Tarot card reader role can cause instantaneous negative reactions and judgements due to limited knowledge, superstition or biased impressions about the art. Misconstrued associations with the devil, for example, may pop into people’s minds and they put me into a box from which they wish to distance themselves. A good example is when I applied at one of the local markets to get a booth and was told point blank that “my kind” was not welcome and to go elsewhere. This was indeed a rude awakening and a blatant sign that I can no longer fit in by default or be invisible. In my new profession, being self confident and detached are critical. Luckily, when performing my passion, my drive is above any self doubts or intimidation.

It feels as though a seed was planted within me long ago and, until recently, laid dormant. Now, I am permitting it to grow, giving it sun and water (and love!), and watching it open its petals and flourish.

So what makes Tarot special?

Why do I feel the need to read cards for people and help people in this way? What makes this my passion?

I have been mulling over the definition of passion and meaning and purpose as it relates to career. First, let’s examine some common motivators for work (following Maslow’s hierarchy of needs):

  • At a basic level, we are looking for money, benefits, paid time off for sick days and vacation.
  • At another level, we may desire status and recognition, as well as stepping stones for future career moves, the desire to direct, be in charge or work on teams.
  • From a technical or creative view, the work motivators include the desire to create, fix, improve, design, etc.

Passion falls into a category all its own and works in conjunction with the above-noted work motivators. When you are working in your passion, time falls away and you are 100% engaged in the moment, the flow and the task at hand. Time essentially stands still and flies by at the same time. You are completely re-energized and able to continue doing what you love for long periods of time. People subconsciously feel your genius and are lifted by your infectious energy. Picture a yellow light aura filling up your own body and then transferring to other people to bask in and be energized. In essence you are raising people’s energies to match your own and it feels good all around. Solutions and answers come to you seemingly out of thin air and there is a confidence of knowing: knowing the truth, the steps to take, what to say out loud, and what to try next — the answers illuminate (reveal) themselves to you quickly. Insecurities, hesitation and doubt vanish from your brain as you work.

My booth at the Chinese Cultural Autumn Night Market, Calgary

…when you are working in your passion, time falls away and you are 100% engaged in the moment.

You see, passion is not exactly a choice. Once unearthed, it becomes your path and you are drawn to walk along it. If you try to get off or stray a little, it guides you back and holds you steadfast. It is the feeling of whole alignment with everything and everyone, the world. When you are doing your passion, you would do it for free because you are compelled to do it. It feels right on every level of your being. In this way, things that do not connect at this level start to fall away because they are no longer acceptable. In this way, the systematic alchemical improvement process starts working behind the scenes automatically, with lessened input from you. Decisions and preferences are obvious progressions for you along your path.

Oh I forgot to mention, getting up in the morning to go and do my passion is exhilarating. On days I have a Tarot reading booked, I leap out of bed and float from cloud to cloud until my head hits the pillow in bliss. I cannot wait for each day to start and enjoy every minute I am alive because it is all amazing and fulfilling on the most intense level I have ever felt. Helping people is what I enjoy most.

Getting to work every day in my passion is a game changer. It highlights the difference between living in black and white, and living in a billion different sparkling colours. All sacrifices become worth it as the path ahead effortlessly appears and this new big picture provides motivation at its purest.

Thank you Tarot for coming into my life and for giving me new context, meaning and fulfillment.

Now…who wants a Tarot card reading?

Allie Kessler is an Intuitive Tarot Card Reader, writer and freelance designer living in Calgary with her 12-year-old daughter. Check out her Tarot website, her daily card draws on Instagram and like her Tarot Facebook page.

Calgary mompreneur | figuring it out, making it work.

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