How To Deal With Shame On A Subconscious Level

When you don’t even know what it means

Allison Kessler

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A person in my life has been triggering an automatic response from me, and it’s been happening repetitively. It’s a pattern. Same pattern, different people.

My only clue is that when I’m triggered, I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach and I’m going to throw up. I’m used to this feeling and feeling this way about things, situations, people, etc. I’ve obviously been storing this up for a long time, ignoring it and hoping it will just go away. Since this person who is currently annoying me is a client, the old me would just fire her. That’s a easy out. A way to make the bad feeling go away, without having to deal with it.

My only clue is that when I’m triggered, I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach and I’m going to throw up.

The clue I’ve been given is small, but I have the spiritual tools and knowledge now on how to dig deeper and do a little investigating. My response is a classic naval chakra symptom. This means there’s a blockage or imbalance. The naval chakra, located a couple inches above your belly button, governs self esteem. It’s all about power and control, feeling confident in who you are, being able to set healthy boundaries, feeling like you are in control of your life, and managing stressful situations calmly and assertively.

If your yellow naval chakra is unbalanced or blocked, you may feel shame. It’s a symptom. I’m ashamed to say, I don’t know even what the word “shame” means. It’s not in my vocabulary and no one has ever talked about it. Quite frankly, it’s a really negative word and it’s no wonder I don’t want to go there!

Google’s definition of shame is: “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” and synonyms include “humiliation, mortification, chagrin, ignominy, loss of face, shamefacedness, embarrassment, indignity, abashment, discomfort, discomfiture, discomposure.”

The meaning is cryptic. For example, I know what being “embarrassed” means, but I wouldn’t say it’s synonymous with “shame”. Or is it. It turns out, it’s intertwined. Feeling embarrassed can turn into shame if we don’t know how to release those negative emotions.

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Allison Kessler

Calgary mompreneur | figuring it out, making it work.