How to Get Fat in 8 Easy Steps

I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize my own face.

A week ago on a morning in July 2025, I felt like something was out of place. I felt…. Ugly. Not just ugly, but fat and ugly.

I stepped on the scale and was horrified to see I was somehow 170 lbs, a full 20 lbs over my weight just 6 months previous. What the heck. There must be something wrong with the scale. The only time I’ve been this heavy before was when I was 8 months pregnant. This can’t be right.

As I fiddled with the scale, everything slid into place. This is why I can’t get my rings on anymore. This is why I had to make an emergency run to the thrift store for bigger jeans.

Time for a wake up call.

In January 2025, I weighed 150 lbs. Not my ideal weight, but one that’s to be expected when you approach 50 years old?

My dream weight is 140 lbs. It’s the perfect weight for my 5'3". I feel great, can fit into all my favourite clothes, and look good.

However, I can see now that allowing myself to float a full 10 lbs above my ideal weight for a few years has provided the foundation for continuously feeling slightly overweight, and teaching me how to ignore the signs.